What a tit!

Gordon Brown has compared himself to the artist Titian!

Well, he is half right. He is a complete and total TIT!

The New Hope?

It is done now, and Barrack Obama has been installed as the latest American President.

The whole world seems to be celebrating over this fact, and he does seem to offer some hope. My only fear is that he will turn out to be like Tony the Phoney Blair and just be a good orator while leaving the running of the country to a bunch of malevolent incompetents who ruin the place. At least he does not seemingly have his own equivalent of Gordon Brown to wreck everything, but I would not mind betting Hilary Clinton will turn out to be a disaster. This could be his plan, of course, to make sure she can never run for President. If so, hats off to him.

I sincerely hope I am wrong in all these suppositions, but I have more than a sneaking suspicion that I am not!

Serves him right

I see Boris Johnson. Mayor of London,  got done for not paying his congestion charge. Serves him right for not abolishing it the moment he came to power!!

Blubber power

I saw this story linked to from Theo Spark's blog Last of the Few.

It appears some cosmetic surgeon is being investigated for using the blubber extracted from his clients during liposuction to make bio-diesel to power his 4x4.

It seems to me that the government (that's a laugh calling that shambles a government) has missed a trick here. If everyone were compulsorily weighed once a month, and everyone whose Body Mass Index exceeded goverment targets was forced to undergo liposuction, then any supposed fossil fuel problem would be over! Think of all the other advantages:

• Gormless Gordon could get on with the job of saving the world
• Badger Darling could raises tax on peoples' own blubber (plus VAT at 15%)
• Jackboot Jacqui could be even more draconian and make life even worse for hard-working families (chavs would be exempt from the process, of course)
• Health Gauleiter Johnson could make the health fascists feel even more smug

Every one wins, except for the Great British Public, naturally!

Oh what a surprise!

It appears that the goverment (and I used that term in its loosest possible sense) has been fibbing yet again. It turns out that windmills will not be the answer to a maiden's prayer after all and we shall still have to use coal and nuclear power 

ABSOLUTE BLOODY CRAP

England were duly thrashed by South Africa at Twickenham today 6-42. South Africa were good, much better than Australia last week BUT, England were even worse than they were last week. They were absolute crap. One or two England players made some effort but most just seemed to be on autopilot!

After the match, Jonno was saying we are working on the problems and all the usual platitudes, but the fact remains that some of the England team are way past their sell-by date and some are just not good enough. Also, good player though he is, Steve Borthwick is no captain. We need another captain of Jonno's ability.

The other problem seems to be discipline. So many stupid penalties given away. It is about time that consistent penalty offenders had their match fee reduced in proportion to the number of penalties given away! Drastic action is needed.

All I can say is "BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER"

At least we can see who supports South Africa, where is Erica Roe when you need her?

Here we go again in 2008

After a false dawn last week, the England Rugby Union team proved, once again, that they are not well organised. They lost 14-28 to a reasonable but not briliiant Australian side who were also helped by rather a lot of strange decisions by the Southern Hemisphere ref from South Africa!

None the less, England were outplayed and while there is some excuse for the younger members of the side due to inexperience, some of the older members of the team played really badly. Jonno has a big task on his hands, methinks!

Just desserts

I have been away with Mrs MikeyP for a while, taking a long holiday in the USA to celebrate my retirement with a livable pension. 

Therefore, we had not heard about the furore concerning Woss and Bwand and their idiotic answerphone "pwank" on Andrew Sachs. All I can say is that they are both total tossers, and vastly overpaid for what little talent they have, or at least display.

I think that they have not yet received their full just desserts, which would be to be expunged from everyone's memory and end up doing a lowly paid job as no-one else would employ them. Unfortunately, given the attention span of the Great British Public, I don't expect that to happen any day now!

Micawber or Mugabe

I can never decide whether Gordon Brown reminds me of Mr Micawber or Robert Mugabe

One was always waiting for something to turn up and hoping for the best and the other stole all the assets from hardworking people to reward all his cronies, who promptly went and wasted them.

On second thoughts, he seems like a combination of the two, but maybe without the charisma!

Witches and Wizards

It appears that JK Rowling has finally become unhinged by all that dosh she has earned from what I think are very boring and weird books, and has donated a million squids to ZanuLabour. All I can say is that we knew what to do with witches and wizards in the good old days!