Another year older and another £1000 in debt

The bill for the Gurning Loon's idiocy has gone up another £1000 each today!

Doctor Bollocks

Most people know the Dear Leader is an overweening incompetent when it comes to running a country, an economy or a whelk stall, but did you know he is a Doctor of Philosophy? He was awarded (blagged) a Ph.D. on the subject of 'The Labour Party and Political Change in Scotland 1918-29' . The results of this study are, of course, as much use in the real world as a chocolate teapot.

To start the New Year of with a swing, I think we should suggest some equally useful subjects for Ph.D. projects. My suggestion is as follows:-

"Subject:

A study of auditory experience of flatus in a dermatological aqueous detergent solution

Abstract:

This study tests the hypothesis that the noises made by a fart in the bath depends on the food consumed to source the gas. A series of experiments was carried out using volunteers who consumed solely baked beans or brussel sprouts or chicken vindaloo. Their ablutions were monitored for audio volume and tone of the fart bubbles. It was concluded that there was no correlation between food consumed and audio volume or tone of the farts in the bath. However, a strong correlation between tone and volume and the juxtaposition of buttocks, thighs and (where appropriate) dangly bits was noted. The results also suggest that a further study should be made as to the filtering effect of bath water on farts with respect to global warming"

Notes;

That last sentence should provide provide another three years funding for research into AGW

I am sure some amongst you bloggers can come up with more imaginative research projects to waste money on as well. Any ideas? A subject would be good, and an abstract even better..

The broom closet

MacDoom really is trying to convince the world he IS a one-eye Scottish idiot. Here he is leading Gore the Bore into what might well be the broom cupboard!



Nicked from Guido Fawkes

If only....

There has been a tendency over the past to name inns and hotels after historical events. Let us hope this one is pre-cognitive!

http://www.brownleavescountryhotel.co.uk/

So that is it, then?

So Boy David, the Heir to Blair, does not want my vote then? He, like Blair has reneged on a promise to hold a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty. a.k.a Constitution. This will be VERY, VERY bad for the UK and the British way of life. There is no reason why a referendum cannot be held and the certain result of an overwhelming NO used as a very strong bargaining chip!

Therefore, although I was going to hold my nose and vote Tory this time, there can only be one way to vote now, UKIP. If it means another 5 years of New Labour, so be it! Actually, they will be lucky to last a year before the revolution comes.

Thomas the Tank Engine

The other day, I was waiting at home for a parcel to be delivered and I was getting bored with reading and surfing so I put the TV on in the middle of the day. Little did I realise what rubbish is on daytime TV; those who complain about or mock it are fully justified.

As we get our TV service via Virgin Media cable, I went to the TV on Demand service. While flipping through the choices, I noticed a whole series of Thomas the Tank Engine episodes. I used to love my parents reading the Rev Audrey's stories about railway engines to me at bedtime, and our kids loved us to read the same stories to them.

I decided to watch one of the episodes and there he was, my favourite tank engine. It was about a childrens' firework party. The script said that the children loved climbing onto Thomas and he loved to stand and watch the children playing! Crikey, I thought to myself. I hope he has been CRB checked!!

See Thomas here :-)

Read this, Gordon, you moron

It appears that at least some people know how to get out of recession. The Swedish Government are proposing an income tax cut, and a cut in public spending to boost employment in the private sector.

Are you reading this, Gorgon, or your puppet Alistair? Or even David Cameron or Georgie Porgie Osborne?

Our Dan at it again

This time on Internet TV

Why isn't he Prime Minister in Waiting?

We could do with a few more Mayors like this

The Blair/Brown Terror's hope that, by having a load of directly elected Mayors, this would expand their disastrous hegemony still further seems to have gone rather wrong. Firstly, we have Boris making far less of a mess of London that Captain Newt, and now we have this guy, Peter Davies, Mayor of Doncaster and an English Democrat.

Here is a list of his priorities, taken straight from the local goverment site at Doncaster. There is hope yet!!

Progress / Key decisions since taking office

· Appointed a mixed Cabinet of committed Councillors

· Cut Mayor's salary from around £73,000 to £30,000 per year

· Axed Mayor's chauffeur driven car (approximately £6,000)

· Stopped future funding for gay pride event (£3,000)

· Stopped council newspaper Doncaster News

· Directed that two children's social worker posts be reinstated at Doncaster Royal Infirmary to specifically assist children in hospital and to help detect abuse

· Axed membership of Local Government Association and Local Government Information Unit (approximately £80,000)

· Where possible, stopped funding for translation services and instead encourage people to learn English

· Cut twinning ties with five towns saving approximately £4,000+

· Written to the Electoral Commission to cut the number of Councillors from 63 to 21 which could save upwards of £1,000,000

Future priorities

· Lower Council Tax by cutting extortionate levels of bureaucracy and other waste

· End malpractice and mismanagement in the council

· Hold a referendum on the Mayoral governance of Doncaster

· Reduce the number of councillors from 63 to 21

· Conduct a review of the A638 Quality Bus Corridor and the traffic mayhem around the Dome

· Scrap politically correct non-jobs and encourage the former employees to seek meaningful employment

· Encourage every school to opt out of local authority control – money should go directly to schools to raise deteriorating educational standards

· Ensure police concentrate resources on catching criminals

· Introduce zero tolerance of anti-social behaviour and impose penalties for such everyday practices as using foul language in public and spitting in the street

· Halt the architectural vandalism of Doncaster and protect the town’s heritage

Election countdown

Unless the Dark Lord of the Sith can find a way of stopping it, this is the maximum time before we have a General Election and remove the Brown/Blair/Mandleson Terror once and for all, I hope