Friday, 22 January 2010

Another year older and another £1000 in debt

The bill for the Gurning Loon's idiocy has gone up another £1000 each today!

Sunday, 3 January 2010

Doctor Bollocks

Most people know the Dear Leader is an overweening incompetent when it comes to running a country, an economy or a whelk stall, but did you know he is a Doctor of Philosophy? He was awarded (blagged) a Ph.D. on the subject of 'The Labour Party and Political Change in Scotland 1918-29' . The results of this study are, of course, as much use in the real world as a chocolate teapot.

To start the New Year of with a swing, I think we should suggest some equally useful subjects for Ph.D. projects. My suggestion is as follows:-


A study of auditory experience of flatus in a dermatological aqueous detergent solution


This study tests the hypothesis that the noises made by a fart in the bath depends on the food consumed to source the gas. A series of experiments was carried out using volunteers who consumed solely baked beans or brussel sprouts or chicken vindaloo. Their ablutions were monitored for audio volume and tone of the fart bubbles. It was concluded that there was no correlation between food consumed and audio volume or tone of the farts in the bath. However, a strong correlation between tone and volume and the juxtaposition of buttocks, thighs and (where appropriate) dangly bits was noted. The results also suggest that a further study should be made as to the filtering effect of bath water on farts with respect to global warming"


That last sentence should provide provide another three years funding for research into AGW

I am sure some amongst you bloggers can come up with more imaginative research projects to waste money on as well. Any ideas? A subject would be good, and an abstract even better..