Sunday, 28 March 2010

The Dear Leader's Latest Pledges

The Dear Leader is trying to emulate Phoney Tony by making 5 pledges that will be instantly broken in the unfortunate event of him being elected. There is no meat on the bones so it seems only fair to help him out by adding a few contents.

Secure the recovery

We will attempt to sort out the mess we have made of the economy and, in the process, bugger it up even more.

Raise family standards

Except when you:

  • Work in the private sector
  • Drive a car
  • Enjoy a pint
  • Eat food not approved by Nanny
  • Go on holiday

Build a high tech economy

We will cover the entire country in windmills, except in Layabout voting areas.

Protect frontline services

Yeah, right!

Strengthen fairness in the community

We don't want all those poor hard done by benefit scroungers having to do any work, they may not have the energy left to vote for us. We will just pile a few more taxes on those mugs who are prepared to work for a living.