He has gone

No explanation necessary. Here is some celebratory music:

You bloody fools!

To everyone who did not vote Tory on May 6th, there is only one way to describe you. A BLOODY FOOL.

While I respect the right of anyone to have an opinion, I DO NOT necessarily respect that opinion itself. I think that anyone who could not see how dangerous for the country anything but a Tory majority would be at the present time, even with Wavy Davy in charge, is a BLOODY FOOL.

The Dear Leader's Latest Pledges

The Dear Leader is trying to emulate Phoney Tony by making 5 pledges that will be instantly broken in the unfortunate event of him being elected. There is no meat on the bones so it seems only fair to help him out by adding a few contents.

Secure the recovery

We will attempt to sort out the mess we have made of the economy and, in the process, bugger it up even more.

Raise family standards

Except when you:

• Work in the private sector
• Drive a car
• Enjoy a pint
• Eat food not approved by Nanny
• Go on holiday

Build a high tech economy

We will cover the entire country in windmills, except in Layabout voting areas.

Protect frontline services

Yeah, right!

my.telegraph.co.uk/the_locksmith/blog/20...

Strengthen fairness in the community

We don't want all those poor hard done by benefit scroungers having to do any work, they may not have the energy left to vote for us. We will just pile a few more taxes on those mugs who are prepared to work for a living.

Nigel again

This time, being less than kind to the European 'president' van Rumpy Pumpy!

A new word is needed.

It has been announce that the useless, venal Geoff (Buff) Hoon is to stand down as an M.P. at the next election.

Given that, in the blogosphere, the word "hoon" has come to represent the same word as "berk" does, but without any possible faux-friendly connotation, we will need a new word to describe the useless politicians and their followers that is equally brusque and descriptive. Any ideas?

Another year older and another £1000 in debt

The bill for the Gurning Loon's idiocy has gone up another £1000 each today!

Doctor Bollocks

Most people know the Dear Leader is an overweening incompetent when it comes to running a country, an economy or a whelk stall, but did you know he is a Doctor of Philosophy? He was awarded (blagged) a Ph.D. on the subject of 'The Labour Party and Political Change in Scotland 1918-29' . The results of this study are, of course, as much use in the real world as a chocolate teapot.

To start the New Year of with a swing, I think we should suggest some equally useful subjects for Ph.D. projects. My suggestion is as follows:-

"Subject:

A study of auditory experience of flatus in a dermatological aqueous detergent solution

Abstract:

This study tests the hypothesis that the noises made by a fart in the bath depends on the food consumed to source the gas. A series of experiments was carried out using volunteers who consumed solely baked beans or brussel sprouts or chicken vindaloo. Their ablutions were monitored for audio volume and tone of the fart bubbles. It was concluded that there was no correlation between food consumed and audio volume or tone of the farts in the bath. However, a strong correlation between tone and volume and the juxtaposition of buttocks, thighs and (where appropriate) dangly bits was noted. The results also suggest that a further study should be made as to the filtering effect of bath water on farts with respect to global warming"

Notes;

That last sentence should provide provide another three years funding for research into AGW

I am sure some amongst you bloggers can come up with more imaginative research projects to waste money on as well. Any ideas? A subject would be good, and an abstract even better..

The broom closet

MacDoom really is trying to convince the world he IS a one-eye Scottish idiot. Here he is leading Gore the Bore into what might well be the broom cupboard!



Nicked from Guido Fawkes

If only....

There has been a tendency over the past to name inns and hotels after historical events. Let us hope this one is pre-cognitive!

http://www.brownleavescountryhotel.co.uk/

So that is it, then?

So Boy David, the Heir to Blair, does not want my vote then? He, like Blair has reneged on a promise to hold a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty. a.k.a Constitution. This will be VERY, VERY bad for the UK and the British way of life. There is no reason why a referendum cannot be held and the certain result of an overwhelming NO used as a very strong bargaining chip!

Therefore, although I was going to hold my nose and vote Tory this time, there can only be one way to vote now, UKIP. If it means another 5 years of New Labour, so be it! Actually, they will be lucky to last a year before the revolution comes.